They say you can’t pick your family but you can pick your friends. I’m not so sure about that.
I really, really, really wanted to be friends with the guy running the conference I attended last year. He was funny, intelligent and had some great information to share. I was pretty sure he’d notice the same things about me.
Through the week the obvious lack of connection with me was disappointing. Minimal eye contact and a sense of impatience during discussions was obvious.
I closed up, slumped, grimaced and sulked. It didn’t help.
I was dismayed and hurt. Then I got pissed.
Who the f*ck did he think he was?
The painful physical and emotional sensations reminded me of a tumultuous break up 30 years ago as well as the time my “best friend” made me cry in front of our 7th grade class.
It wasn’t pleasant then or now.
After many hours of yoga and energy work I’m learning I can control how I respond in situations that aren’t going as planned. I can only offer my true self, take what I need, aim for understanding and hope for the best.
Academically and philosophically Speaker Man has a lot to offer. So as any “enlightened” person would do, I checked in with the family of girls living inside my heart and we decided to go back for more a year later.
“Okay everyone, it’s time to walk the talk”, said Big Girl.
“Is it possible he was in a bad relationship before and things will be different this time because I have a nice smile?”, asked Middle Girl.
“Nah, I bet he still acts like a dick”, growled Little Girl.
“Hey, watch it you”, Big and Medium said at the same time.
For days LG sat quietly although it wasn’t easy for her. She was pretty certain the guy hadn’t changed much.
“No one knows what’s going on in another person’s head”, BG announced after a few, slightly uncomfortable days passed.
“Maybe he is attracted to me and wants to maintain a professional distance “, added MG hopefully.
“Nah, he’s just irritated that we aren’t oohing and ahhing over everything he says”, groused LG.
“Hey, knock it off”, admonished BG and MG.
BG continued, “Let’s get the most we can out of this and let go of feelings of sadness and rejection”.
“I’m game”, agreed MG, “some relationships aren’t meant to be. Can you imagine my initials if I stayed with that loser boyfriend? A.S.P.”!
LG took a bit more time to respond. “Okay. This whole thing makes me sad but not as much as you guys make me happy”.
I picked my family. I also picked the best out of a person who didn’t want to be picked as a friend. No loss, more gained.
Namaste- maybe I’ll friend him on Facebook what the hay!