Peter and I have been catching up on the series “Blue Bloods”. It’s fun to see how often we say, to the hot-headed Detective Reagan, “Awwww Danny.”
“I have such a busy day tomorrow”, I said, keeping my eyes peeled to the TV.
“Wait. What?” Peter’s astonished response was very satisfying, (Thank you Lord for allowing me yet another successful dead pan delivery.)
“Kidding. I just miss saying that.”
It’s just about a month now that we’ve been here together 24/7. Make that 22/7. We spend about two hours apart each day. One of us is looking for porcupines and the other is trying to find the daggone leak in the roof.
I do miss making detailed lists for the days ahead. I have a crazy fantastic schedule…had.
I teach…taught…Aerial, Yin, Vinyasa, privates, exercise, dance and classes for kids. Every day something different. I have a calendar on my phone and by the phone. It takes organization to keep track of who, what, where, when, and how I’m teaching. Add to that my regular life duties including crossword puzzles, reading, writing, knitting and day dreaming: Busy, busy, busy.
Lists are essential so that the pieces of my life are jostled carefully, ensuring that nothing and no one gets short changed. Least of all, me.
These days my lists are different. Daily lists give way to an ongoing one.
* Make a better face mask, preferably one that doesn’t make my ears stick out.
* Find the necklace that was choking me in class six months ago.
* Clear out desk drawers. Do I really need four packages of blank CD-ROMs?
* Develop a porcupine yoga sequence for prickly adults.
* Go through photos. Maybe before and after haircut shots through the years should have their own album.
*Take wheels off my scooter and use them to replace the cheap plastic ones on my grocery bag cart. Then use the friggin cart.
* Check eBay and see if anyone’s buying vintage trophies for first place in the lead line class at the Bull Head Pond Horse Show in 1964.
Actually, I am kind of busy, but it’s different. The schedule isn’t as strict or mandatory. Taking care of the animals and watering the kale seedlings is about it.
I’ve been given the gift of time, the opportunity to contemplate what is making me feel anxious, impatient, sad or irritable.
How do I react when I don’t hear from family or friends, when Peter says “Dinner might be a bit later than planned”, when I think of those who are missing out on society’s major milestones, or when I realize that vacuum cleaners were made for a reason?
I’ve been given the opportunity to investigate my emotions, and to challenge myself to react and respond differently. What’s really important here? What is urgent? Urgency is slowly giving way to calmness, patience, compassion and understanding.
Like yoga, it is and it takes, practice.
The other night I had ridiculous dreams. Each time I woke, I sang silently Mary Magdalenes’ song from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Jesus Christ, Superstar”:
“Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
problems that upset you, oh,
Don’t you know
Everything’s alright, yes everything’s fine.
And we want you to sleep well tonight,
Let the world turn without you tonight.
If we try, we’ll get by, so forget all about us tonight.”
Make a list of things that you can take care of eventually. Make a list of things that you can’t do anything about. Note how you feel, how you react. Is it possible to let the world turn without you tonight?
If anyone should sing that song, it’s Danny Reagan. Talk about being anxious, impatient, sad and irritable.
Namaste- let’s try and stay calm today.
Alexandra Langstaff 