Dinner was almost over when Peter said, “Just so you know, I’m putting the knives in the dishwasher with the points up. They get cleaner that way and don’t get rust marks. I want you to be aware and careful when you are emptying the dishwasher.”
My last sip of wine almost came out my nose. “Uh, when I empty the dishwasher?” I choked out the words.
“Well on the infrequent time, I just want you to be safe”, he answered, almost seriously. I kept laughing.
I’m not good at emptying the dishwasher, so it’s not often on my “to-do” list. I have an uncontrollable urge to put things away in different spots. It’s not like our kitchen is gigantic, but it would be nice to put things away without moving my feet.
I’m curious as to why egg cups are by the bowls and not next to the coffee cups. Who started that trend?
I’m also not sure why the soup ladle needs to go in the same place every time. It might be a good idea to mix the utensil drawers up so that we can discover things that may have been ignored or forgotten.
More often than not, when the ladle, can opener, flashlight, or some other gadget goes missing, my response to “Where did you put it?” is, “I believe it’s on your side of the bed.” At times, finding the aforementioned is like looking for buried treasure.
Whenever I’m off on an excursion for more than three days, I make a treasure hunt for Peter. I usually leave the first clue on his pillow so he gets it just before going to bed. The rule is no looking for clue #2 until the next morning, he can think about the next hiding place but no looking until the following day. The bounty at the end is often my return.
An example is “While you are watching Law and Order tomorrow night, someone is watching you.” There is a bust of my great grandmother next to the tv chair, there’s also a photo of me on the stairway wall, in clear view of said chair. Hmmm, where could the clue be? Under? Behind? (Okay, that was an easy one.)
The goal is to make sure the clues lead him around the house.
It’s my way of keeping Peter safe.
It’s a way for me to say, “I’m thinking of you”, “Be observant”, “Be comfortable looking at things differently”, “Keep your mind active.”
That’s what being safe means to me. It’s feeling cared for, being attentive, having the freedom to look at things differently, it’s giving permission to laugh.
Fear is the opposite of safety. Fear is feeling ignored, it’s a hesitancy to look beyond what is right in front of us, in case we are wrong. Fear is taking ourselves too seriously.
I end most yoga classes with a Loving-Kindness mantra “May we all be happy, healthy and safe, at ease in our bodies and at home in the world.”
Simply stated, be safe and let go of fear.
Namaste- dishes are clean, I’m running away!
Alexandra Langstaff 