There’s an old story about 5 blind men who have no idea what an elephant is, until they are given the opportunity to explore, one by one.
The first feels its tail and reports back, “It’s nothing but a rope”.
The second feels a leg and says, “No you idiot, it’s a tree”.
Third man feels the ear, “What are you thinking, it’s a fan”.
Fourth feels its side and says, “Oh for Pete’s sake, it’s a wall”.
The fifth feels the trunk and says, “What are you all, blind?! It’s a snake”.
What we believe to be true is made up by our experiences and perceptions. Often we don’t appreciate the thoughts or opinions of others because, we feel we know what is true and real, even when some of our senses are hindered.
Dee and I often wonder how people describe us, especially after we’ve made a comment like, “She’s so nice” or “He’s a dope”, about someone else.
“I wonder if anyone thinks I’m nice… or sweet?”, she asks.
“Do you mean as in a sweet old lady? It’s not like you bake or anything”, I reply.
“Christie does think you’re funny though”, I add to be kind.
“Well, Diane said someone called me aloof. Is that a good thing?”
“Probably better than a know-it-all. Do you ever have those times where everyone is talking but you? Do people think I’m a good listener or just stupid?”, I ask somewhat rhetorically, which is my wont.
Being sisters, we can, tirelessly, have this same conversation at least every 6 weeks and never really come to any conclusion.
It’s interesting to wonder how we could be described by others. Chances are the descriptions would be based on the way they know us, as family members, friends, co-workers, students, opponents, teachers, parents, or partners.
“The whole is greater than a sum of its parts” is often, incorrectly, attributed to Aristotle. He wrote something similar but more complicated. None-the-less, the simplified version makes for a nice bumper sticker.
We are all multifaceted and sometimes it takes a while for the big picture to emerge. Letting go of the pieces we believe to be true about a person or a situation can be enlightening.
Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for everyone to get it together and see that I’m not just the ass end of an elephant. “Would you let go of my damn tail and check out my ears? They listen. And the wall you think you feel is just a thin layer of skin making sure my innards don’t fall out.”
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
Perhaps the solution comes by patiently paying attention to ourselves just a little bit more. Notice a consistency or lack there of, in thoughts, words and deeds, in all situations. When we shed light on the truth in ourselves, it’s easier to find it in others, no matter what the relationship.
Then there’s this:
Five blind elephants were discussing what a man was. They plainly had no idea. One day they decided to investigate.
The first elephant went into a tent where a man was reported to be. When she came out she said, “Men are flat”.
The other four went in and after they came out they said, “Yes, you were right”.
Give it a minute.
Namaste- move that blindfold out of the way.